This IS a cheap jibe but why do women carry around so much baggage - literally and metaphorically? At a London conference recently, it was observed that more people might have been able to attend, if they occupied the same space as the ‘luggage’ in the auditorum?

Before you reach for your Tweets, or other methods of cyber-outrage, let me assuage you - I was the arch felon of such a crime, only the other day. For reasons which shall unfold, I dragged 30 items of crockery around London, in a cabin bag not really designed for such a purpose. The said items had a wonderful day out. I’m certain, if they could communicate, they would have expressed sheer wonderment of travelling from South East London, all the way to Wembley, buses, trains, Docklands Light Railway, you name it. I presume the sensation is similar to that of taking small children around London, although with the crockery, no toilet stops, worrying for lollipops or principled arguments regarding fast-food outlets.

Why?...well, why not?...a family wedding looms, hot on the heels of another family event, so pooling resources very much on the cards. However, one of my ‘good ideas’ - to catch the last flight, London-Nice, seemed anything but, as the day unfolded.  I had a series of morning appointments, including an annual check-up at a London hospital. As I clattered down the echoing corridors, I rehearsed my oft-provided apology for presence of cabin case. Radio-scanning units are not really geared up for luggage, nor should they be, but that case was wheeled into the scanning suite, phlebotomy department and the consultation area. Patients, already distracted by whatever brings them to hospital, found more hazards that day.

On, and on we went, on buses, tubes, escalators and elevators. Journey’s end - Wembley Park, seemed a symbolic victory, in that hallowed area where sporting triumphs hang in the air. As I jumbled down the uneven pavements (you notice things such as this, when in the presence of heavy tableware), I began to feel sentimental about my ceramic collection. I had no reason to - it would be returning to me in a few weeks, but such was some of the items, that I almost wanted to sneak some back to France. Only an impeccable sense of ethics prevented me from selecting out a few smaller items - every piece was handed over. I’m pleased to report that it all received approval for the wedding event.

Continuing onwards to the airport, the cabin bag, now light as air seemed oddly redundant. With little opportunity, or need, to go shopping en route to Heathrow, the previous, weighty milestone now became balloon-like, it could be swung around like an umbrella. Not for the first time was I treated with some suspicion by the security team. Why carry an empty cabin case? The last time my luggage attracted attention was en route to Singapore, with husband. Why, so went the question - were we only travelling with one item of luggage, when our allowance was twice that? I enlisted the oft-used answer, when travelling, ‘my sister-in-law told us to travel outwards with one bag, as we would acquire so much during on our journey’- thank goodness for sister-in-laws, they seem to cut through security barriers.

As for the crockery?..as I write, it is being buffed and polished, ready for its moment of glory. More is on the way, but being transported by car, so no thrills there. If crockery had passports, this collection would notch up some air-miles (ground miles, sadly it never took to the skies).