Article (translated from Dutch) by Fabienne van Dillen.

Life Lessons. Nobody can escape from them. They sometimes have a huge impact on our lives. It's December and I am already looking back on 2011 and can conclude that it was an eventful year with many changes. The advantage of a tumultuous year is that you can, if you do it well, add a few life lessons to your experience. And you realize that life lessons, even if they are very intense, can help you get closer to your core. You need them to learn why you are here and how you can become the person you really are. And for me, as a personal coach, to help others see the value of our life lessons and how to proceed as a more interesting person with a richer experience.

Part of my grieving process was writing down my life lessons. Undoubtedly, they are recognizable for everyone and probably one or more themes are topical at the moment with you readers. If you find it interesting to look deeper into your life lessons together with me, you can mail me at: mailme@fabiennevandillen.nl

Lesson 1:

We are treated like we teach others how to treat us

Sometimes things happen in your life that you cannot control and without knowing it you start to act like a victim. It is the fault of others if we are not feeling good or if we do not achieve what we want to achieve. But is that true? Is what the other does or says not a result of what we (unconsciously) broadcast? Often our children hold up a mirror to us this way. It is my belief that you yourself have allowed that you are treated like this. Respect and love yourself and others will do the same.

Lesson 2:

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself

If you think that forgiving others only is a service to them, then think again. The person who most benefits from this kind gesture is you. Holding anger and resentment can never be good for you. It's like you clench your fist 24 hours a day.

Lesson 3:

Resistance to the reality will eventually weaken you

We resist changes, problems, our families, our friends, our responsibilities, our work, our lives, .... There are so many things that can evoke resistance, but this resistance will only grow if you keep resisting. Carl Jung said: "What you resist, will not only persist, but will also grow in size."

Lesson 4:

It's about the way you travel and not about the final destination

I know, it is an open door. Sometimes we are so consumed by what we want to achieve, by the perfect picture, at the end result, that we forget to live and enjoy the journey. Take another deep breath and look at the world and at the people around you and realize (even if you yourself do not believe it yet) that the beauty of it all is in you.

Lesson 5:

Our attitude towards life determines what life holds for us

If you think life is unfair, that bad things always happen to you, try to find the positive side of the experience. Sometimes you have to search, but that positive side is always there. If you think life is a gift, that the glass is half full and not half empty, that good things happen to you and you meet wonderful people along the way, then life gives you those things and more. That is the law of attraction.

Lesson 6:

Loneliness is not the same as being alone

There is a difference. When we are alone, we get the chance to really connect with our inner selves, our thoughts, our desires. The feeling that you have to have someone around you all the time, will disappear. Wayne Dyer said it in a beautiful way: "We can never be lonely if we like the person we’re alone with". If you accept yourself completely, you will enjoy every moment alone and every moment with others.

Lesson 7:

Patience is a virtue

We've all heard this one before. We will first sow, and then wait patiently for the seed to grow. We provide it with good care, we protect it. Great things take time and the lesson is to give it time.

Lesson 8:

Show more gratitude and you have more things to be grateful for

The law of attraction works for good and bad things and it's up to us to decide on what we want to focus. Focus your attention and gratitude on the good things you have, and you will have more reasons to be grateful for every day.

Lesson 9:

Intuition is valuable

The world is full of information, almost all knowledge is available for everyone. That makes it hard to make decisions or to follow your dream. There is always an argument to do or not to do something. Our intuition is correct and we know in our hearts what we should do, but our intellectual part will buy another book, or subscribe for another course. The step to actually go for it is so difficult. Every good idea starts from the inside, from your heart. "The only real valuable thing is intuition." Einstein.

Lesson 10:

Courage is linked to anxiety

Fear, who does not feel it. Fear makes us stop moving, we cannot grow, as if we are paralyzed. Fear lives only in our minds. But it is there and it affects our lives, our dreams, our goals and our happiness. Fear is often there when you get out of your comfort zone, if you want to achieve something. Like any emotion anxiety takes only about 90 seconds. Then you can let it slide away from you again. If you think that is too difficult, NEI (Neuro Emotional Integration) therapy sessions can help you find the source of your fear. Decisiveness, but keeping in mind the benefit of others, is important for a good self-esteem.

Here's to a new dawn!